


Tallymark Theater

by daggersandribbons



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: M/M, One Shot, Short & Sweet, Zsasz Sass, canon Zsasz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25053313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daggersandribbons/pseuds/daggersandribbons
Summary: Oswald and Ed get invited to a theater event but it’s not what they expect
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot & Edward Nygma, Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Kudos: 23





	Tallymark Theater

“Did you get the mail?” Oswald chirped from the table. 

“No.” replied Ed. The two were in a relationship now and Ed had even sold his apartment. He glanced at the man wearing a plush robe with penguins on it. For a man of finer things, he secretly loved his retail store robe that Ed had purchased for ten dollars. 

Oswald gave him one of his trademark go to hell looks. “But you were outside already,” 

It was clear the older male wasn’t going to give the attitude up until Ed complied. 

“Fine I’ll go get it.” 

He returned with a matte black envelope. As he sat beside his partner, he slid the envelope over. 

“What is it?” Ed murmured as Oswald carefully opened the envelope and read it over. His blue eyes lit up with excitement like a child on Christmas. 

Oswald held up two tickets. 

“They’re tickets to a play...and they’re for tonight! It’s a very elite theater troupe we _must_ go.” 

“Oh, well if we _must_.” Ed joked as he examined the letter. “Hm, theres tally marks etched into the bottom of the letter.”

“Probably to prove how intimate the gatherings are, small batch and all.” 

After a sinfully delicious steak dinner, the duo opted to walk to the theater. Oswald’s eyes scanned his surroundings before offering his hand for Ed to hold. Sure people were more progressive than they had been when he was a young sweater wearing boy but he still felt uneasy. 

Their steps echoed as Ed struggled to read the read the address on the card. “What kind of theater is in this part of town?” He muttered. 

“Hush. Barbara went to see a play from this troupe and she said it was amazing.” Oswald commented. 

“Since when do we care about what Barbara thinks?” retorted Ed. 

“I don’t, but she has some taste.” He replied as they entered the theater. The seats were a stunning red leather and almost all of them were filled with other well dressed people, though none of them were anyone that either of them recognized. 

Lights dimmed indicating the show was about to begin as they took their seats. The man and woman seated behind the duo tied them to their seats as a man took center stage. It was Victor Zsasz, dressed in a very sleek black suit. A single light shined on him as he smiled forward. 

“Hello everybody. Thank you all for coming, especially our guests of honor.” The light shined on Oswald and Ed, who were writhing, before going back to Zsasz. “Oswald, Edward. You won’t be leaving here alive so I figured I should at least make your last night entertaining-“ the curtain drew back to reveal a set of a diner. At the booth sat a man dressed as Oswald. 

“Is that supposed to be me? I would never wear something so gaudy.” Oswald asked. 

“When Oswald first hired me.” started the bald man as he sat across from the actor. “I felt like I was doing something important, but I should’ve known that once he opened his mouth to complain about his meal that he’d never stop complaining.” 

The actor shouted at a waiter and the crowd laughed, even Ed cracked a smile. Oswald’s eyes shot daggers at his partner. 

“Its a little true.” The taller male stated. 

“Is not.” The shorter male snapped. 

“Oswald you complained three times at dinner.”

“Edward “kiss-ass” Nygma. I usually wouldn’t want to give you to the attention you so crave and inflate your ego, but I guess I can do it once.” Zsasz paused. “We all tried to stay on Oswald’s good side but you had to take it as far as having sex with him...a lot. Chief of staff was a fitting title for you.” He paused as an Ed lookalike took the stage “and by staff I mean penis.”

Ed’s cheeks turned a bright pink. 

“I mean seriously, it was a running joke amongst the employees. Are those pitiful sounds Mr. Cobblepot getting his lover boy up his ass or a knife in his chest?” 

The set was quickly changed to a bedroom, the Ed imposter on top of the Oswald.

“My former boss is a bottom but that doesn’t mean he’s not the dominant one. Remember audience, the dog always humps you and not the other way around.” 

Oswald let out a sharp bark of a laugh and it was only partially out of anxiety. Sure Gotham had knew him and Ed were an item, but he didn’t want anyone knowing about his sexual endeavors. Victor turned to make eye contact with Ed. 

“Yes, it is laughable how attached at the hip you two are. All I’d really need to do is kill you green bean, Oswald would be lost without you. It wouldn’t do me much good to kill only him though, seeing how you tried to do that once and I don’t want to be repetitive.” 

A bell chimed and the curtains fell. 

“It’s almost the end of our evening so I’d like to touch on a few more topics before we say goodbye.” 

As Zsasz began to load his pistol, he cleared his throat. “Oswald, this isn’t coming from me having lack of hair but your hair is seriously awful about eighty-five percent of the time. Nygma, you wear far too much green. You look like a jar of salsa verde.” He cocked his gun and the shorter male stared at the taller, pleading wordlessly to come up with some sort of plan. 

“Wait!” Ed shouted. 

The man on the stage sighed. “What?”

“If you let us go...you can have our permanent reservation at that sushi place you enjoyed so much. W-We won’t even speak of tonight. ” Nygma bargained. That piqued Zsasz’s interest. In the height of his employment with Cobblepot and company, they would often go out to a sushi bar. Under his breath Ed muttered to Oswald to stay quiet about it. 

Victor disembarked from the stage to the end of the row they were sitting in. He raised his gun and Oswald closed his eyes. The bullet would likely hit him first and he didn’t want to see Ed witnessing that. 

A single shot was fired and Ed braced for impact. But no pain came. He looked over at his partner, who appeared to be unharmed too. Still the scent of blood filled his nostrils, prompting him to turn around to see that the man and woman who had been restraining them were dead. 

“Only took one bullet, hot damn I’m good.” He smiled down at the two freshest tally marks on his skin. Sure they were intended to be for Oswald and Ed’s deaths, but any two lives would do. 

Caught up in his own ego, Zsasz didnt even notice his foes fist approaching his face at an alarming speed.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize if this isn’t my best work I took a hiatus from writing due to a huge blow to my self esteem so this is my easing my way back in


End file.
